Mindfulness Monday: Wise Mind

Back during the A to Z Challenge, I spoke briefly about DBT and about Mindfulness.

Today, I'm going to talk about a core component of Mindfulness that is also a core component of DBT.

In DBT, there are three states of mind that are referenced. These three states are descriptors of different ways we interact with the world.

The first is "reasonable mind." When we are in this state, we are able to think logically or rationally about what's going on, about our options, and about the steps we want to take. We are focused, we pay more attention to facts, and we tend to plan out our behaviors. We may even be somewhat detached from what's happening, because we're only focusing on observable facts. Examples of behaviors that would be characteristic of "reasonable mind" might include: measuring ingredients to bake a cake, going to the WMATA website to check the metro schedules before going into DC on the weekend, studying for a final.

In contrast, the second state of mind is "emotion mind." This is what is sounds like - our feelings are driving the bus. When we're in "emotion mind," our thoughts are controlled by our emotions. We tend to be reactive, facts are distorted, and we can't remain (or have a very hard time remaining) objective. Examples of behaviors that would be characteristic of "emotion mind" might include: having a fight with someone that you've disagreed with, curling up in your favorite chair with your kitten and cuddling, buying something with your credit card that you can't afford just because you decided you wanted it.

This leads us to today's topic, "wise mind." We are operating in "wise mind" when we have balanced "reasonable mind" and "emotion mind." We're able to acknowledge our feelings and still think clearly about what we want to do about them. "Emotion mind" and "reasonable mind" have blended to develop a deep intuition, or knowing, that some describe as a "gut feeling" about what's best for the person. Your intuition tells you, this is the best course of action, because your emotions and logic are working together beautifully. "Wise mind" is sometimes the "calm after the storm" you feel after a crisis has passed, when you can see everything crystal clear.

Unfortunately, we don't stay in "wise mind" all the time. Things would be so much easier if we could!

Breathing Exercise
A simple breathing exercise you can do to practice being in "wise mind" follows:
Focus on your breath, on inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Your breath should be soft and gentle. As you continue to focus your attention on you breath, let your attention settle so that it's deep in your breathing. The point where your attention is in the very bottom of your in-breath, at the center of your breathing, is "wise mind."

Drop into the Pauses

As you engage in mindful breathing, allowing yourself to notice the “pause” after each inhalation and each exhalation.  This pause is much like the still space that exists when leaping between trapeze bars. Notice the stillness within each pause.  Allow yourself to find awareness in the pauses at the top and bottom of each breath. Settle in to each pause and find stillness within.

Stone Flake on a Lake

To engage in this visualization exercise, imagine that you are seated next to a crystal clear lake on a beautiful sunny day.  Imagine that you are a small flake of stone, chipped from a much larger rock, that someone has gently thrown out into the center of the lake.  You are gently floating there on the placid surface of the still water. Now you begin to gently and slowly float downward in the cool water toward the smooth, sandy bottom of the lake.  Notice the look and feel of the water as you gently float to the bottom.  Notice the feel of the smooth sand as you lightly rest upon it.  Become aware of the peace and serenity at the bottom of the lake.  This deep stillness and serenity is the calm center of yourself.  Allow your attention to settle into this calm centered place within.

Breathe "Wise" In, Breathe "Mind" Out

This exercise is particularly helpful if you feel stuck in emotion mind and are feeling overwhelmed.  In these moments, it may be difficult to focus your attention on a longer visualization exercise.  At times like this, simply notice that you are feeling intense emotions and begin to direct your focus toward your breath.  As you pull the air into your lungs, say the word “wise” in your mind.  As the air leaves your lungs, say the word “mind” to yourself. The idea is to focus your attention entirely on these words as you breathe in and out to begin to settle yourself back into a place of calmness and wisdom.

Is This Wise Mind?

Many of us often know that we are doing or saying something that is not in our best interest, but for some reason we do it anyway.  This can happen for a wide variety of reasons, such as directing passive aggression towards yourself or choosing to self-sabotage.  If you find yourself experiencing even the slightest sense that you are about to do or are doing something that you will later regret, notice this and pause.  As you pause, take a slow breath in and ask yourself, “Is this (action, thought, etc.) wise mind?”  Listen for the answer… don’t tell yourself the answer.  Allow it to arise naturally within.  Pause, breathe, and notice what answer presents itself to you. Now, it is up to you whether or not to do what wise mind knows is best.

There are many other exercises, one of which involves journaling different thoughts from the different states of mind.

Try a few, see what works for you. Remember that it takes practice to be in our Wise Mind, so pick an exercise and practice it regularly.

Hello, NaNoWriMo….

Today is the first day of NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month. The goal? 50,000 words in 30 days.

Am I crazy for doing this? Abso-freaking-lutely. And yet, every year, I willingly and intentionally subject myself to the insanity. It's time to dive in again, people. It might even get a little ugly.

Why, yes. This is a lovely NaNo badge, is it not?

Clearly, blogging and I have taken some time apart after the A to Z Challenge. Maybe documenting my NaNo experiences will help me get back on track? We'll see…

Here are two links about keeping yourself on track, if you decide you want to venture into the wild realm of NaNo:

Abby Annis wrote a great article and is sharing an awesome spreadsheet.

Over at The Writing Cafe, discussion is about avoiding some of those distractions, like the internet.

Happy writing!

Book Release: Dakota Captive

Today is a very exciting day for author Alythia Brown. Her new book, Dakota Captive, is being released. I had the pleasure (although she may tell a different story, ha) of working with her as her editor for this book. In other words, yes. I am totally biased about how awesome this book is. (Hey, at least I'm honest about it!)

Dakota Captive is the first book in a trilogy. To give you an idea about the storyline, read the blurb below. In the meantime, allow me to explain to you why this is such an awesome story and why you need to go buy it as soon as you're done reading this blog. The story line is rich with vivid descriptions of both people and places. From the moment you first meet the Earth Spirits, you're captivated by who they are - their distinct personalities find a place within your heart quickly. Charli is thrown one curve after another and she handles each one with the combination of vulnerability and strength that comes from being a strong-willed and independent teenager. When she finds herself falling for the one man she shouldn't after trying to nurse a broken heart from the ex-boyfriend who just won't quite give up the fight for her, she does the only thing she can: survive all the chaos and find her way.

The process of working with Alythia to uncover the polish and shine of this amazing gem was truly enjoyable. She was enthusiastic, receptive to observations and suggestions, and most importantly, determined to present this book in the greatest shape she could. Go. Buy. This. Book.

Book Blurb

When the evil spirit of Jumlin returns with his army of Offspring, the Earth Spirits are summoned to protect the Lakota. Unbeknownst to Charli, these Earth Spirits are a sacred secret. So she probably shouldn’t have spied from behind a rock when they shifted from their animal forms, she shouldn’t have taken pictures, and she definitely shouldn’t have gotten caught. Now a hostile prisoner, Charli is forced to walk a long journey to reach the one man who can erase the knowledge of the Earth Spirits' existence from her mind.

Naturally, Charli thinks all she needs to do is keep her big mouth shut, get her memory erased, and go home. But Jumlin’s Offspring are stalking her. Since no one can explain this unusual behavior, it becomes imperative to enter the Other World--a place where the Lakota have lived traditionally and without foreign oppression (but not without menacing dragons). Aside from being kidnapped, whisked away to a foreign world, hunted, and forced to live amongst strangers, Charli must come to terms with a new nuisance: she's falling for one of her abductors.

Meet the Author

Alythia Brown was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she now lives with her husband and their three small children. She found her inspiration to write Dakota Captive after traveling to North Dakota to return an authentic peace pipe to the Lakota Natives. The artifact had been picked up after the Massacre of Wounded Knee in 1890, and eventually ended up in the hands of one of her ancestors—who, in turn, told everyone it was a wagon spoke. Alythia is the author of two short stories, published in the Mertales anthology, and she aspires to publish many more books for children, teens, and young adults.


You can find Alythia at her website, on Facebook, and on Twitter (@alyconnorbrown). If you'd like to learn more about her other books, you can go here.

Finally, here is the link to the first stop in her book release blog tour. Go check it out!

Mindfulness Monday: 7 Pillars of Mindfulness

Today's Mindfulness topic is the 7 Pillars of Mindfulness.

In his book, Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn introduces us to the 7 Pillars of Mindfulness, which are foundations of a sort for developing a mindful practice. Some people refer to them as the 7 Attitudinal Factors for a Mindfulness Practice.

The Pillars are:
1. Non-judgment                              2. Patience                              3. Beginner's mind
4. Trust                                           5. Non-striving                         6. Acceptance
7. Letting go

The first, non-judgment, is (in my opinion) the biggest hurdle for most people. The idea behind non-judgment is to be impartial to your own thoughts and feelings. It's hard! Our minds are so used to categorizing and labeling and judging (good, bad, blah, etc.) that it feels almost impossible to be impartial. In mindfulness, the goal is to observe the thoughts without judging them or acting on them, and then return our focus to our breath.

Patience is mostly understanding that we can't rush things. Some things have to unfold in their own way and in their own time. Sometimes we just have to wait. In an age of instant gratification, most of you are thinking, "Seriously? I don't have time to wait....!" Take a breath, and allow things to play out.

Beginner's mind is actually one of my favorite pillars. We get into trouble when we allow our thoughts and beliefs about what "we know" to prevent us from seeing fresh options and possibilities. I bet most of you can think of a time when you took a harder road than maybe you needed to, all because you couldn't see that shortcut right in front of you. With beginner's mind, you try to see things as if you were seeing them for the first time, fresh and shiny and new. It means letting go of expectations created by past experiences.

With the pillar of trust, we're allowing ourselves to trust who we are, our experiences, our feelings, and our intuition. We've all had that little voice that said, ummmm, maybe I shouldn't do this... and then we do it anyway. And we regret it! Honor that little voice, especially if it's telling you to think something through before doing it.

Non-striving is an interesting pillar, especially for those of us raised in a Western society. We're always working towards the next thing, right? Well, in mindfulness, especially mindfulness meditation, we're not doing anything but paying attention to the experience. With non-striving, we're not forcing or pushing for a result. Non-striving allows us to enjoy the moment to moment.

Acceptance. The best summation for this one is the saying, "It is what it is." Acceptance means seeing and coming to terms with things as they are right now, in this moment. Mindfulness says that suffering is when we fight the things we cannot change; we waste a lot of time and energy fighting and denying facts, by trying to make things be the way we want them to be. Acceptance gives us the chance to be open to what we're thinking, feelng, or seeing, and accepting that experience because it's what is happening right now.

The final pillar is letting go. The idea behind this one is that we tend to hold on to the things we like or are pleasant while rejecting the things we don't like. Instead, the aim of this pillar is to try to neither hold onto nor reject our experiences; we should just acknowledge them.

FAF: Traveling again!

I'm sitting at gate B-70 at Dulles International Airport, waiting for time to speed up so I can board my flight.

Today, I am *that* passenger. You know the one - sniffly, coughing, the "oh please don't get me sick" passenger. I am not contagious. That was days ago. No, I am in the lingering phase of mild congestion and coughing that just will not go away. I have done Zicam, water, tissues, echinacea, cold medicine, steam, and sleep. Still it lingers!

I suddenly have such sympathy for past *those* passengers. Perhaps I could have been more compassionate? Perhaps I could have suppressed the murderous glares? Now I am receiving them.

It's truly a pity that we aren't able to extend greater kindnesses to our fellow traveling companions. We don't know their stories - hell, that's half the fun (cause then you can make up stories in your head about the people sitting around you). Would it kill us to spare a little goodwill?

I won't get you sick, fellow passengers, I assure you. So stop looking at me like that, I can't help the cough.

Writing Wednesday: Commas

Commas seem to be horribly misunderstood, overused, underused, and/or outright ignored. This is mostly a tragedy because the comma, when properly used, does wonders!

Commas separate the elements in a series of things (when the series includes three or more items), including the last two. Ex: I bought eggs, milk, bread, and cheese at the store today.

A comma combined with a little conjunction (and, but, or, for, so, yet, nor) will connect two independent clauses (that is a lesson for another day). Ex: I brought a notebook for class, but I left my highlighter at home.

A comma can be used between two adjectives when the conjunction "and" could be used between them. Ex: My cat has a shiny, black coat.       You would not use it here: She bought an expensive cotton yarn.  (You wouldn't say she bought an expensive and cotton yarn, because you're conveying that that cotton yarn that was purchased was expensive. Make sense?)

These are just a three comma rules. There are more (of course there are) and there are great grammar websites out there that you can reference if you aren't sure. Some of the ones I check (yes, even I double check myself) are:

The Writing Center
Grammar Book
Guide to Grammar and Writing

Now, go and use commas properly!

Magickal Monday: Litha

We haven't had a Magickal Monday yet, so hurrah! First Magical Monday is about Litha!

Litha is better known as the Summer Solstice. Some call it Midsummer, which is (in my opinion) a wholly ridiculous name since the Solstice marks the start of summer, not its middle. Anyway.

Litha marks the longest day of the year, when the sun shines the most for the whole year. It is directly across from Yule on the Wheel of the Year. It's the celebration of the union of the God and Goddess (and why June is *the* wedding month) and, in some Celtic traditions, it is the other time of the year when the Oak and Holly Kings battle for the throne. At Litha, the Oak King falls and it is the Holly King who reigns.

We celebrate fertility, life, fulfillment at Litha. It is a time of joy and celebration as we bask in the longest day of sunlight, the light of the Lord. It is also the last day of this before the gradual darkening as we move to fall and then winter.

Litha is also a time to honor the faerie folk. If it is your preference to work with these fine folk, Litha is the best time to honor them. You could set up an altar dedicated especially for them, with flowers and colorful, shiny things. Just remember that faerie folk are to be respected; they have a power all their own and shouldn't be taken lightly.

FAF: Mercury Retrograde

Let us speak for a moment about Mercury Retrograde, shall we? Mercury went into retrograde on Wednesday, 26 June 2013. What does that mean? Rather than totally type it all out again, I refer you to John Marani's first post on the topic back in 2011. Suffice it to say, all kinds of communication goes sideways. Things do not happen as planned. People get screwed. Electronics die. It blows.

My brother John eloquently described Mercury Retrograde and its fuckery thus far, or at least how it has impacted him, J Sunny, and their beautiful Momo.

Allow me to share some of my joyful experiences. First, let me say that I was born with Mercury in retrograde in my natal chart. This means, typically, that I am not quite as impacted by the hell that is Mercury in retrograde. Typically.

Let me be clear. Mercury rules the sign of Gemini (my sign). I have the utmost respect and affection for Mercury. He can kick some serious ass when He goes into retrograde. You can't *not* respect that. Day one of Mercury Retrograde was not pretty. It was especially not pretty because I spent it at work, where we do nothing but communicate all. freaking. day. Half the staff couldn't access Outlook, which isn't good because we do a lot of coordinating with outside treatment providers via email. Phone calls got disconnected, group was chaotic, and staff ran around like chickens with our heads cut off as we tried to figure out WHAT THE FUCK was going on.

First we're scrambling to get a refill of a medication. We ask the treating psychiatrist to fax prescriptions to the pharmacy. Excellent, got that done. The pharmacy calls to get the insurance info. Fantastic, check that off. Then the client comes and says that she doesn't want the medication filled at our pharmacy, because she doesn't like the medication that comes from our pharmacy, because it doesn't work.

I'm sorry, say what now?

Yes, we actually had to call and have the refills cancelled. Then we had to call the psychiatrist back and explain the situation, so that the psychiatrist could call the refills in to the client's preferred pharmacy. That was like an hour of telephone tag and voice mails and cursing at the sound of the call being dropped.

Day one, people. Day one.

::headdesk::

Writing Wednesday: Moon

moon

silvery white
      spilling over
grass
trees
blanket on the lawn

air fresh
       sweetened by earlier rain
tugs the few loose curls
dances over the skin
       light
       feathery

maiden moon
        quartered
        glowing

reigning over
          songs and revelry

Free for All Friday: Birthdays, Sabbats, and more

Blessed Litha to you all! May this longest day illuminate the important things in your life and help you see where changes must occur.

So, as I mentioned in Wednesday's Writing post, it was also my birthday. YAY!

However, being the do-what-I-want-for-the-most-part kind of person I am, I have been celebrating more or less all week. Yup, a week long birthday celebration. Gotta love it.

Tuesday was the awesome Melissa Etheridge concert.

Wednesday was my actual birthday; I had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and then enjoyed the Litha Ritual at 13 Magickal Moons.

Yesterday, I got to hang out with my sister, Riz, for a good chunk of the afternoon and then I had dinner with my mom at Travinia. That was a very yummy place.

Today, I am chillaxin' because it's Litha. I am enjoying the Lord's day and the sunshine and blue skies.

Tomorrow, friends are coming over for food and festivities to celebrate my birthday.

Not bad, I know!

All in all, 32 is looking to be a great year!

Writing Wednesday: 4th Street Feeling

Today is my birthday!!! Last night, I went to Wolf Trap to see the always amazing Melissa Etheridge on concert. It was spectacular and I had a blast, but it definitely inspired some poetry. So here's a little taste of last night for you, titled after the song that inspired it.

4th Street Feeling
pulsing
dancing
feeling
   the vibrations

in the ground
in the air
in my body

the thump
       resonating in
             my soul

the night sky
       open and wide
above my head

...eyes closed, head back
the sweet smell of summer….

sprawled on the blanket
     forgotten glass of wine
            to my right

eyes closed
    swaying

lost in the music

Mental Health Monday: Expressive Therapies

Today I want to talk about expressive therapies.

Some examples of expressive therapies are art therapy, music therapy, dance therapy, and sand tray. However, pretty much any expressive activity can be used  - by a trained professional - in a therapeutic manner.

Art therapy can take the form of drawing, painting, creating collages, and working with clay. A subset might be arts and crafts (beading, knitting, painting bird houses, coloring pages, etc). Now, I'm not going to look at someone's drawing and say, "Oh, you used red, which symbolizes ______, so you must be feeling ______." Instead, I'd ask about the colors a person used and what they mean to the person. The whole point is for the person to get something out in a way that doesn't necessarily involve a lot of words.

Music therapy can be a lot of fun. I've done groups where we listen to a song and then talk about how it made people feel and what it brought up for them. 

Pretty much the only limit is a therapist's imagination. See? Therapy isn't necessarily all talking!

Free for All Friday: Vanity

During the A to Z Challenge, I shared with you all my feelings about jewelry.

Mostly I think I expressed my affection for shiny things. Which is totally true, because I am almost as bad as a racoon or a magpie. Ooooh shiny. (An expression I loved in Firefly, by the way).

In order to really grasp the extent of my jewerly addiction and how vain I am, allow me to paint you a picture.

It's a nice, quiet evening at home. You've had your dinner, you've brushed your teeth. Tomorrow you return to work. Most people have a "night before work" routine - packing lunch, picking out clothes, grabbing a book for the commute. My mother, for example, still irons her clothes as part of her routine. Then she does something critical - she picks the jewelry that will go with her outfit.

Being me, I must be contrary. I pick my jewelry first. That's right, I go pawing through my drawers of jewelry until I find a set that I have decided MUST BE WORN. MUST, I tell you. Now that I've found THE SET for the next day, I start shoving hangers around in my closet until I find something that will work with it. Assbackwards, but it's my method. Besides, it ensures that I look fabulous(!) and it shows my excellent taste in bling.

What's your routine? 

Writing Wednesday: Homonyms

Let's have a chat about homonyms, shall we?

According to Merriam-Webster, a homonym is:
          1

                a : homophone [1: one of two or more words pronounced alike

                      but different in meaning or derivation or spelling (as the words to,

                      too, and two); 2: a character or group of characters pronounced the

                      same as another character or group]

                b : homograph [one of two or more words spelled alike but different in

                      meaning or derivation or pronunciation (as the bow of a ship, a bow

                      and arrow)]

                c : one of two or more words spelled and pronounced alike

                      but different in meaning (as the noun quail and the verb quail)

          2

                   : namesake [one that has the same name as another; especially : one who

                     is named after another or for whom another is named]

           3

                   : a taxonomic designation rejected as invalid because the identical

                     term has been used to designate another group of the same rank —

                     compare synonym

Allow us to focus on that first definition for a moment. Most people tend to struggle with the homophones, like:

            - bald vs balled vs bawled                                        - its vs it's

            - to vs two vs too                                                      - your vs you're

            - there vs their vs they're                                         - peak vs peek vs pique

There are all kinds of lists out there on the internet, people. Find them. Bookmark them. They are your friend. Love them. They will save you. They will also save your editor from smashing his/her head into his/her desk repeatedly out of frustration.

Magickal Monday: The Broom Closet

So, Friday I talked about an interaction I had with someone whose response to my openness about being a witch was, well, less than stellar.

I genuinely do not expect everyone I meet to agree with me or like my path. I do believe, however, that they should respect that it's my choice, MY path. Sometimes they find out because they ask. I feel like you shouldn't ask the question if you may not like the answer, because I have better things to do with my time than be bombarded with someone else's negativity over disagreeing with my spiritual path. At the same time, I recognize that a lot of those gut, negative reactions are a product of a media that's portrayed witchcraft and witches with a lot of misconceptions (hello, The Witches, for starters. Which I loved, but that's besides the point.) So, this could be my opportunity to provide some education and clear up some of those... misunderstandings. Like, I really don't eat babies.

Too gristly and not enough flavor.

All joking aside, I am proud to be out of the broom closet.

The only place I am not out is work, whichis a function more of the psychotic processes of some of the clients than anything else. Sometimes it's just easier to change the topic than try to battle an entrenched delusional system. Just saying.

My path works for me. I don't ask you to walk it with me, but I do ask that you respect that it's my choice to walk it. Whatever path you are walking, if it's working for you, that's awesome! If it's not, I hope you find what you're seeking. We all deserve to find the path that brings us peace and contentment, that fulfills us.

Coming out of the broom closet is a big decision. Before taking the leap, take a look at your motivations for sharing. If it's about getting the annoying person to leave you alone or about the shock value, reconsider your choice. Those situations don't usually end well... On the other hand, if you have friends or family who are supportive or at least open to having a dialogue, fantastic! Be honest, but don't bash other religions as you're sharing why this path is right for you.

Some folks never really leave the closet. This is true for more reasons than I can list here, but the bottom line is that it's a personal decision that shouldn't be made lightly.

Bright blessings!

Free for All Friday

Can we just have a WTF moment, please?

I joined some coworkers and friends for a happy hour to celebrate a coworker's promotion to another program. We go to this great place called San Antonio's (go, if you've never been cause it's tasty, tasty food).

We're having a great time, socializing and laughing. We talked about traveling abroad, dream travel destinations, and how sad we were that the coworker is leaving us. SNIFFLE!!!!

At some point, the conversation turned to astrology - my sign means this; oh, you're a this so you must be like this; that kind of thing. I mentioned that astrology is more than one's sun sign, that you have to take into consideration the rising sign, the moon sign, and the relationship among the planets and their position in the stars (see, John, I can talk mildly intelligently about the topic now!) and all that jazz.

A friend of the coworker's, whom I met for the first time last night, asked me if I was "into all that astrology stuff." I told her I like to learn, that I've learned a lot from my dear friend and brother who has studied astrology for nigh on forever and has been a tarot reader for 20 years. She had an odd expression on her face and just said "Oh." Then it came up that I am a practicing witch.

I kid you not, she put her hands up and said, "Oh, that's too much for me. No thanks."

Crazy stupid woman say what?

I let it go, because it was clearly not worth a discussion. Her nonverbals were SCREAMING "OMG OMG I'M AFEARED NOW." Yes, I just used "afeared." Deal.

It does sometimes still astonish me how closed-minded and reactive people can be about this topic. This was a fairly well educated person. And yet...

Like I said, a WTF moment.

Happy Friday?

WIP IT GOOD Blogfest

So, DL Hammons and Elise Fallson are co-hosting this particular blog hop adventure. The WIP IT GOOD Blogfest was inspired by Hammons' love for Devo and the classic 1980s hit, Whip it Good. In the case of the blogfest, however, it's WIP, as in Work In Progress. See? So clever!

Anyway, the idea is that all of us aspiring writers can band together and share our current WIPs with the blogosphere. Maybe, if we're lucky, we'll find a Critique Partner (partners who exchange material for detail critiques, usually chapter by chapter) or Beta Readers (test readers who read entire manuscripts and offer broad opinions).

So. Here goes nothing!

WIP Title: "Book" I know, that's pathetic. I'm horrible with titles, though. I didn't even name Pieces of the Soul, someone else did!

Word Count (projected/actual so far): 35,000 (so far), projected: ballpark of 75K-80K

Genre: Fantasy/Paranormal/Light Romance

How long have you been working on it?: Almost two years. I keep putting it aside and coming back to it.

Elevator Pitch (if you came across an agent in an elevator ride, what couple of lines would you use to summarize your book): A witch and former FBI agent comes home to start fresh only to find that her last case isn't done with her.

Brief Synopsis (250 words or less): Aradia is smart, and an extraordinarily gifted witch. She's returned home, to a town that was never all that welcoming to her unusual talents, after burning herself out at the FBI - and trusting her heart to the wrong man. Now, it looks like her last case has come back to haunt her. Her abilities are changing in unpredictable ways and the spark she's denied having for the sheriff could either break her or make her twice as strong. She has to rely on her witch's intuition, strong investigative skills, and the bond with her sisters to prove herself to the town, save her family, and save herself.

Are you looking for a Critique Partner?: Yes

Are you looking for a Beta Reader?: Yes

Mental Health Monday: Boundaries, Relationships, and Loss

Today's topic is a Mental Health Monday topic.

Therapists are taught the importance of boundaries when we develop therapeutic relationships. A therapeutic relationships is not like any other. We share in the joys and sorrows of the individuals with whom we work, but it's fairly one-sided. Our role is to reflect empathy and provide an environment of validation and provide a framework within which the person is able to build on his or her own strengths. Typically, that means very little of our own experiences are shared with these individuals, unless it provides a therapeutic benefit.

Having said all of that, we become attached to these individuals. We are gifted with the opportunity to see them grow - through their own strength and choices - and we are fortunate enough to support them in these endeavors. So when one of these individuals passes, we mourn.

Last week, an individual with whom I was fortunate to work, over the course of multiple stays over many years, passed away. She had a sweet disposition, a quiet smile, and a strong love for animals. She was tormented by her illness, but had a good support network. Her primary treatment team had worked for a very long time to get her into a group home and, after a week there, she passed away from medical complications.

We grieve when one of these individuals, who has left their own indelible stamp on our lives and experiences, leaves this world. Whether by natural causes or by an individual's choice, the passing of a former client leaves a different kind of mark. There is a sadness that we won't see them again, hear how they've accomplished something else or tried something new. There's, in some cases, a sense of quiet acceptance or even relief that the individual is no longer in pain (whether physical, emotional, or mental, or some combination of the three). And there's a reflection on the gifts that the individual gave us through the therapeutic relationship, which we'll cherish always.

I hope you find peace. I hope there was little pain. I hope you know that your loved ones will be supported. I hope you know that you will be missed. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you. Bright Blessings.

Writing Wednesday

Well, today was a bust.

I've decided I do not like the schedule function. My posts either don't post at all or they post on the wrong day. Or they just outright disappear, as in, no posting or saving.

The latter is responsible for today's lack of post. I think I'm going to have to go back to saving as a draft and going into blogger myself to post it. Grr.

Today's topic was, of course, beautifully written and deep. After an adventure filled day at the full time job, I got nothing for you people. Nada.

Instead, I leave you with this thought:

dappled, dancing
filtering through
     leaves fluttering
               ruffling
warm and golden
without the edge of
     noontime;'s glare
fading, softening
     end of the day

almost time to go home

Mindfulness Monday

So, I did talk about Mindfulness a little bit during the A to Z Challenge, but I'm going to go in a little more detail today.

Mindfulness is, simply put, paying attention in a particular way. You're paying attention with intention, in the here-and-now, and without judgements. It's practical and it helps us notice what we're thinking, how we're feeling, or anything else that we might not normally clue into in our day to day lives. It sounds easy, right? It is. It's just that it's such a different way for our minds to process, that it takes practice to get the hang of it. Usually, we're too busy lamenting trouble in the past or borrowing trouble in the future to really be mindful.

Here's another way to explain it: the antithesis of mindfulness is automatic pilot. You know what I'm talking about - when you get to your destination and realize you weren't really paying attention to where you were going and have somehow 'lost' that trip. You do a task that is so routine to you, that you're doing eight hundred other things at the same time. Well, mindfulness says stop. Focus on the one activity with the whole of your being.

One of the examples in a handout I'll give residents involves washing the dishes. THIS is how it could be a mindful activity, according to Carol Vivyan: "Washing up or another routine activity can become a routine (practice of) mindful activity for us. We might notice the temperature of the water and how it feels on the skin, the texture of the bubbles on the skin, and yes, we might hear the bubbles as they softly pop. The sounds of the water as we take out and put dishes into the water. The smoothness of the plates, and the texture of the sponge. Just noticing what we might not normally notice."

Here is a simple grounding exercise that is mindful, in that it forces you to focus on the sensations of right now:
- What do you hear? Is the AC on? Can you hear your neighbor’s tv? Is there a dog barking? Is it quiet?
- What do you see? Is it light in the room? Is it dark? Are there posters or pictures hanging on the walls? What kind of furniture is in the room?
- What do you smell? Can you smell food? Is there perfume or another fragrance?
- What do you feel? Are you sitting? Are you standing? Are your clothes soft? Is the chair you’re sitting in comfortable? Are you cool? Warm?
- What do you taste? Can you taste your toothpaste? Did lunch leave an aftertaste in your mouth? Do you not taste anything at the moment?

Focus on your senses for several minutes until you begin to feel more calm and relaxed.