Mindfulness Monday: Wise Mind

Back during the A to Z Challenge, I spoke briefly about DBT and about Mindfulness.

Today, I'm going to talk about a core component of Mindfulness that is also a core component of DBT.

In DBT, there are three states of mind that are referenced. These three states are descriptors of different ways we interact with the world.

The first is "reasonable mind." When we are in this state, we are able to think logically or rationally about what's going on, about our options, and about the steps we want to take. We are focused, we pay more attention to facts, and we tend to plan out our behaviors. We may even be somewhat detached from what's happening, because we're only focusing on observable facts. Examples of behaviors that would be characteristic of "reasonable mind" might include: measuring ingredients to bake a cake, going to the WMATA website to check the metro schedules before going into DC on the weekend, studying for a final.

In contrast, the second state of mind is "emotion mind." This is what is sounds like - our feelings are driving the bus. When we're in "emotion mind," our thoughts are controlled by our emotions. We tend to be reactive, facts are distorted, and we can't remain (or have a very hard time remaining) objective. Examples of behaviors that would be characteristic of "emotion mind" might include: having a fight with someone that you've disagreed with, curling up in your favorite chair with your kitten and cuddling, buying something with your credit card that you can't afford just because you decided you wanted it.

This leads us to today's topic, "wise mind." We are operating in "wise mind" when we have balanced "reasonable mind" and "emotion mind." We're able to acknowledge our feelings and still think clearly about what we want to do about them. "Emotion mind" and "reasonable mind" have blended to develop a deep intuition, or knowing, that some describe as a "gut feeling" about what's best for the person. Your intuition tells you, this is the best course of action, because your emotions and logic are working together beautifully. "Wise mind" is sometimes the "calm after the storm" you feel after a crisis has passed, when you can see everything crystal clear.

Unfortunately, we don't stay in "wise mind" all the time. Things would be so much easier if we could!

Breathing Exercise
A simple breathing exercise you can do to practice being in "wise mind" follows:
Focus on your breath, on inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Your breath should be soft and gentle. As you continue to focus your attention on you breath, let your attention settle so that it's deep in your breathing. The point where your attention is in the very bottom of your in-breath, at the center of your breathing, is "wise mind."

Drop into the Pauses

As you engage in mindful breathing, allowing yourself to notice the “pause” after each inhalation and each exhalation.  This pause is much like the still space that exists when leaping between trapeze bars. Notice the stillness within each pause.  Allow yourself to find awareness in the pauses at the top and bottom of each breath. Settle in to each pause and find stillness within.

Stone Flake on a Lake

To engage in this visualization exercise, imagine that you are seated next to a crystal clear lake on a beautiful sunny day.  Imagine that you are a small flake of stone, chipped from a much larger rock, that someone has gently thrown out into the center of the lake.  You are gently floating there on the placid surface of the still water. Now you begin to gently and slowly float downward in the cool water toward the smooth, sandy bottom of the lake.  Notice the look and feel of the water as you gently float to the bottom.  Notice the feel of the smooth sand as you lightly rest upon it.  Become aware of the peace and serenity at the bottom of the lake.  This deep stillness and serenity is the calm center of yourself.  Allow your attention to settle into this calm centered place within.

Breathe "Wise" In, Breathe "Mind" Out

This exercise is particularly helpful if you feel stuck in emotion mind and are feeling overwhelmed.  In these moments, it may be difficult to focus your attention on a longer visualization exercise.  At times like this, simply notice that you are feeling intense emotions and begin to direct your focus toward your breath.  As you pull the air into your lungs, say the word “wise” in your mind.  As the air leaves your lungs, say the word “mind” to yourself. The idea is to focus your attention entirely on these words as you breathe in and out to begin to settle yourself back into a place of calmness and wisdom.

Is This Wise Mind?

Many of us often know that we are doing or saying something that is not in our best interest, but for some reason we do it anyway.  This can happen for a wide variety of reasons, such as directing passive aggression towards yourself or choosing to self-sabotage.  If you find yourself experiencing even the slightest sense that you are about to do or are doing something that you will later regret, notice this and pause.  As you pause, take a slow breath in and ask yourself, “Is this (action, thought, etc.) wise mind?”  Listen for the answer… don’t tell yourself the answer.  Allow it to arise naturally within.  Pause, breathe, and notice what answer presents itself to you. Now, it is up to you whether or not to do what wise mind knows is best.

There are many other exercises, one of which involves journaling different thoughts from the different states of mind.

Try a few, see what works for you. Remember that it takes practice to be in our Wise Mind, so pick an exercise and practice it regularly.

Mindfulness Monday: 7 Pillars of Mindfulness

Today's Mindfulness topic is the 7 Pillars of Mindfulness.

In his book, Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn introduces us to the 7 Pillars of Mindfulness, which are foundations of a sort for developing a mindful practice. Some people refer to them as the 7 Attitudinal Factors for a Mindfulness Practice.

The Pillars are:
1. Non-judgment                              2. Patience                              3. Beginner's mind
4. Trust                                           5. Non-striving                         6. Acceptance
7. Letting go

The first, non-judgment, is (in my opinion) the biggest hurdle for most people. The idea behind non-judgment is to be impartial to your own thoughts and feelings. It's hard! Our minds are so used to categorizing and labeling and judging (good, bad, blah, etc.) that it feels almost impossible to be impartial. In mindfulness, the goal is to observe the thoughts without judging them or acting on them, and then return our focus to our breath.

Patience is mostly understanding that we can't rush things. Some things have to unfold in their own way and in their own time. Sometimes we just have to wait. In an age of instant gratification, most of you are thinking, "Seriously? I don't have time to wait....!" Take a breath, and allow things to play out.

Beginner's mind is actually one of my favorite pillars. We get into trouble when we allow our thoughts and beliefs about what "we know" to prevent us from seeing fresh options and possibilities. I bet most of you can think of a time when you took a harder road than maybe you needed to, all because you couldn't see that shortcut right in front of you. With beginner's mind, you try to see things as if you were seeing them for the first time, fresh and shiny and new. It means letting go of expectations created by past experiences.

With the pillar of trust, we're allowing ourselves to trust who we are, our experiences, our feelings, and our intuition. We've all had that little voice that said, ummmm, maybe I shouldn't do this... and then we do it anyway. And we regret it! Honor that little voice, especially if it's telling you to think something through before doing it.

Non-striving is an interesting pillar, especially for those of us raised in a Western society. We're always working towards the next thing, right? Well, in mindfulness, especially mindfulness meditation, we're not doing anything but paying attention to the experience. With non-striving, we're not forcing or pushing for a result. Non-striving allows us to enjoy the moment to moment.

Acceptance. The best summation for this one is the saying, "It is what it is." Acceptance means seeing and coming to terms with things as they are right now, in this moment. Mindfulness says that suffering is when we fight the things we cannot change; we waste a lot of time and energy fighting and denying facts, by trying to make things be the way we want them to be. Acceptance gives us the chance to be open to what we're thinking, feelng, or seeing, and accepting that experience because it's what is happening right now.

The final pillar is letting go. The idea behind this one is that we tend to hold on to the things we like or are pleasant while rejecting the things we don't like. Instead, the aim of this pillar is to try to neither hold onto nor reject our experiences; we should just acknowledge them.

Mindfulness Monday

So, I did talk about Mindfulness a little bit during the A to Z Challenge, but I'm going to go in a little more detail today.

Mindfulness is, simply put, paying attention in a particular way. You're paying attention with intention, in the here-and-now, and without judgements. It's practical and it helps us notice what we're thinking, how we're feeling, or anything else that we might not normally clue into in our day to day lives. It sounds easy, right? It is. It's just that it's such a different way for our minds to process, that it takes practice to get the hang of it. Usually, we're too busy lamenting trouble in the past or borrowing trouble in the future to really be mindful.

Here's another way to explain it: the antithesis of mindfulness is automatic pilot. You know what I'm talking about - when you get to your destination and realize you weren't really paying attention to where you were going and have somehow 'lost' that trip. You do a task that is so routine to you, that you're doing eight hundred other things at the same time. Well, mindfulness says stop. Focus on the one activity with the whole of your being.

One of the examples in a handout I'll give residents involves washing the dishes. THIS is how it could be a mindful activity, according to Carol Vivyan: "Washing up or another routine activity can become a routine (practice of) mindful activity for us. We might notice the temperature of the water and how it feels on the skin, the texture of the bubbles on the skin, and yes, we might hear the bubbles as they softly pop. The sounds of the water as we take out and put dishes into the water. The smoothness of the plates, and the texture of the sponge. Just noticing what we might not normally notice."

Here is a simple grounding exercise that is mindful, in that it forces you to focus on the sensations of right now:
- What do you hear? Is the AC on? Can you hear your neighbor’s tv? Is there a dog barking? Is it quiet?
- What do you see? Is it light in the room? Is it dark? Are there posters or pictures hanging on the walls? What kind of furniture is in the room?
- What do you smell? Can you smell food? Is there perfume or another fragrance?
- What do you feel? Are you sitting? Are you standing? Are your clothes soft? Is the chair you’re sitting in comfortable? Are you cool? Warm?
- What do you taste? Can you taste your toothpaste? Did lunch leave an aftertaste in your mouth? Do you not taste anything at the moment?

Focus on your senses for several minutes until you begin to feel more calm and relaxed.

M is for...

It's day thirteen of the A to Z Challenge!

We've made it halfway!

Today's topic is Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the focus of awareness and attention, based on mindfulness in Buddhist meditation. D is for DBT post? Well, Mindfulness is one module in DBT. It's also a major component of Jon Kabat-Zinn's Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. Essentially, he took research on the efficacy of mindfulness as a healing technique a step further. You can read more about Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction here.

Mindfulness is being fully present in the moment, to live fully in the moment to have a higher quality of life. You can eat mindfully (by chewing each bite slowly and thoroughly before swallowing), clean mindfully (by focusing wholly on the task), or breathing mindfully.

Here's an easy, mindful breathing exercise you can try:

Sit comfortably, relaxing your posture. Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out of your mouth. Feel your belly expand as your breath expands your diaphragm.
Now, count as you slowly inhale: 1......2......3......4.......
Hold your breath for the same 4 count: 1......2......3......4.......
Exhale slowly, doing your 4 count: 1......2......3......4.......
Hold your breath again for a 4 count: 1......2......3......4.......

Repeat the pattern for 2-3 minutes.

This is a simple and easy way to start to develop a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness will relax the body, reduce stress, boost your immune system. You'll think more clearly and feel more present in your life.

Disclaimer: This is such a skimming of the surface of what mindfulness is and how it benefits. If it seems interesting to you, I strongly encourage you to read Jon Kabat-Zinn, Tara Brach, and Thich Nhat Hanh.